A Man In Search Of Hope: The Hope Road Trip Part 1

My office lies somewhat off of the beaten path. So, unless someone has business with my particular department, I don't see many visitors throughout my work day.

Today, as I was working at my desk, I noticed a man pull up on his bike. I vaguely recognized him and thought maybe he was one of our substitute workers bringing in a time sheet.

As he walked into the reception area, he looked at me through my office window and asked if the boss was in. I immediately knew he was not an employee but the face...where did I know him from?

I got up from my desk and walked out of my office to see how I could help this man. As we began speaking, I knew right away that this man had endured some things. You see, not only was his speech slow, deliberate and difficult, but I looked into his eyes. I think you can tell a lot by a persons eyes and what I saw was hopeless desperation.

He began to tell me that he was looking for work and even though he receives disability because of an accident a few years ago, he just wanted someone to give him a chance.

"Ma'am, I..I...I'm a h..hard worker. I c..c..can wash windows, and..and..push a broom. I did janitor...janitor...janitor work. I...(closing his eyes)...made mistakes. But I want to prove myself. I will volunteer. F..f...or a year. Please."

This is how the conversation went for several minutes. This man told me many times he had made mistakes but that he wanted to prove himself. He stumbled over his words, wiped the spit from his mouth and a few times closed his eyes as if willing the thoughts to come, and said, "what's the word I'm looking for..."

It finally dawned on me where I new this man from. Church. And at this point in the conversation, the reality hit me that most people would have judged this person to be mentally unstable or even crazy. But that isn't how I saw him.

He mentioned an accident and his actions were like those of a stroke victim. This man isn't crazy, he is desperate. And falling into hopelessness.

As we talked further, I encouraged him to talk to our Human Resources department.

"I...I...I've d..done that. They..they, w...won't talk to me."

"P..Please, can you t..t..talk to your boss. I..I..I will work hard. I c..c..can do lots of things."

I realized that sending this man elsewhere was not what he wanted. What he wanted was to know that I was going to talk to my 'boss' and put in a good word for him.

He then asked me if he could give me his name and number and would I please, just talk to my boss and put in a good word for him. As I mulled over what to say next, I looked him in the eyes and said, "Yes. I will talk to my boss."

A glimmer of hope crossed his face, and he asked if he could give me his name and telephone number in case we would be willing to hire him to work for us. As I handed him some paper and a pen my heart felt heavy because the reality of the situation was that his hope was very, very temporary because most likely we could do nothing to help him.

Tomorrow, I will talk to my boss because I gave the man my word. What started out as hopelessness and turned into a glimmer of hope will end in one more frustration and perhaps add another notch of desperation to a man who just wants someone to give him a chance.

It seemed to take some time for him to write his name and number on the paper I had given him. As he handed me the paper, he smiled and said, "I'll work hard." I returned the smileand said, "I believe you."

He said 'thank you,' and turned to leave. As I watched him walk out the door I looked down at the paper.

Written below his name were the words,"Please give me a chance."

Happy Birthday Candy!

Today is Candy's birthday. If you don't know her (which I suspect you do if you hang around here) then you should head over to her place, pronto.

I 'met' Candy..well, I don't really remember how and when. I just know Candy has always been a blessing in this crazy group of ours and she usually has something witty and profound to say. Yes, I used witty and profound in the same sentence. She's just that awesome.

Candy, I know you love flowers, mountains and Boz (who doesn't) and so here's a little 'picture' gift from me to you. I love ya gal and have an awesome birthday!!

Boundaries (By Jon, Not Me)

I've been trying for months to get Jon to blog and 'exercise' his gift of writing (which could be read as nagging. But, seriously, it's the only thing I nag about). He told me today that he's been trying for several months to write about certain things, but everything seems to come out negative. I replied (as he was making the 'tongue sticking out face' and I gave it right back) that perhaps he should try focusing on positive things in his writing and see what happens with the outcome. Yes, we are very mature people when it comes to discussions such as this.

I do think that writing is one of the hardest things ever and because of my severe writers block at times, I can understand what Jon is going through. I have read much of what Jon has written and believe it is worth sharing. He has graciously allowed me to share this with you and I hope he will do so with more of his poems. If you are a parent (or soon to be), might I suggest reading these words of wisdom...

BOUNDARIES

Be there for them. Sometimes they just need you to listen.
Open your heart. Let them see the real you.
Unconditional love. Don't ever let them doubt your love and commitment.
Never go back on your word. If you say you will do it, do it.
Discipline. Teach their hearts right from wrong.
Always follow discipline with love.
Remember they are not yours. But angels on loan from God.
In good times and bad...Love them with all of your heart.
Eventually you have to let them make their own decisions. Right or wrong.
Sometimes, even when you want to be their friend, you have to be their parent first.

JB 2000

Life In The Not-So-Fast Lane

I can't imagine life in a faster lane than this. And here's why I prefer life in the not-so-fast lane, especially in the summer:

1. Twenty minutes down the road and I'm deep in the woods. That means pine trees, the river, wildlife and peace.

2. Sitting on my porch in the lazy afternoon hours does not include listening to traffic.

3. I'm surrounded by mountains. Big mountains. And lakes. Lots of lakes.

4. Camping is usually 'right up the road' and consists of lots of walks by the lake, many hours reading in the shade, and big ol' campfires in the evening.

5. Eating popsicles on the front porch.

6. Early morning coffee on the deck while enjoying the mountain views.

7. BBQ'ing with friends and letting the kids make s'mores for us around the fire pit.

8. Watching the garden grow. Finally.

9. Clear evening skies means lots of stars to see.

10. The sound of crickets and frogs in the evening.

These are just to name a few. What is your favorite thing about life in the not-so-fast lane?

The Best Gift Is A Poem

Today is mine and Jon's 4th anniversary. I'll admit that we joke between the two of us, 'we've only been married four but it seems like 12.' The only reason we can get away with that is because we know how hard it's been to blend two families (actually, ours collided) and the challenges we have had to face.

To be honest, we've had some pretty low points in the past four years, and at times didn't know that we'd 'make it'. But, by the grace of God it seems we have settled quite nicely into married life and I can say without a doubt that we love each other more and more every day and lucky him, he's stuck with me for good.

Before we were married, I was given a poem that Jon had written for me and it's probably the most cherished gift I've ever received from him. I believe words to be a very powerful thing and many times in the past four years I have gone back and read this and known that no matter what we're feeling at the time, one day when we're looking back we'll know that we have always been right where we're supposed to be.

Two Rivers Combined

Much like a stream, we aspire to the path

that the Lord has put before us,

Faithful to follow the current as we make our way

through the turbulent, the calm and the still waters of life.

As one stream meets another, there becomes a stronger,

more defined sense of purpose.

Together at last, they now have the opportunity to follow

what my have otherwise been impassable on their own.

With strength combined, their current will enable them

to overcome obstacles that may have re-directed their flow.

In fact, as the two become one in Him,

they now control their destination.

For so long, we have drifted, all the while aimlessly

allowing the current to overcome,

Now thankful as we begin to understand that our direction

was set forth long ago by a power much greater than our own.

It is with a fair amount of anxiousness that we

recognize the gifts which lie before us,

For with such gifts comes a responsibility to return the blessings,
Of which the greatness given, we can never repay.

The river is to Jesus what the sea is to the Father.
Powerful, yet with incredible beauty and grace,

we are led to that place where deep in our hearts

we knew we were always meant to be.

JB 2005

Reflections On The 4th Of July

My 4th of July was rather uneventful, probably because there weren't any kids around. My son is in Virginia for the whole month visiting my brother, the one with 12 kids (hey, what's one more?) and my daughter was off doing her own thing.

I headed down to the annual Pet Parade to meet up with my parents and after watching the parade for an hour realized that apparently all 80,000+ residents of Bend had brought their dogs down to be in the parade. There were a few horses and chickens, but I've never seen so many dogs in my life. Boz didn't really care about the other dogs, he was more interested in the small tree I was standing under. Seriously, male dogs...

When I got home, Jon and I sat on the front porch discussing this(Bend is just not small enough for me anymore) and that(the Hope Road Trip idea and how to go forth with that - if you have any ideas or people in mind please let me know) while drinking a LeBatt's. He didn't think it was very patriotic to be drinking a Canadian beer on the 4th, and with nary a Bud in sight we decided to head down the road and ended up at our favorite Mexican restaurant where we proceeded to enjoy some Pacificos. (I know... I know...)

We rented the John Adams HBO series and decided to watch the first CD before climbing up onto the roof to watch the fireworks. We are heading into part V (that's 5 in case you don't know Roman numerology) and let me just say what has been on my mind:

- I am extremely thankful that our founding fathers were willing to go to great lengths, even if it meant dying by treason to sign the Declaration of Independence.

- Because they did so, as I stood in church this morning I was overcome by great emotion as we sang The Star Spangled Banner.

- I know without a doubt that MY founding fathers had a great faith in God and HE is what this great nation was founded on.

- The cost of freedom is great and it started when the Pilgrims first landed. It continued through the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World Wars I & II, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and countless others that we, the citizens of the United States have been involved in. And I believe we have the freedoms we do because millions have paid the ultimate price. And to those, I am extremely grateful.

- I am a traditionalist. Give me One Nation Under God, Apple Pie, Chevrolet, Hot Dogs and In God We Trust. (And real whipped cream. Not Cool Whip, please.)

- Our founding fathers fought hard for what they believed in. This country is 'of the people, by the people and for the people.' We have the right to fight for what we believe in.

As I watched the fireworks from my rooftop last night I couldn't help but think how grateful I am to live in the country I do. I don't agree with the current administration's politics or moral views, and I may not be very happy about where I think this country is headed but it's those who have paid the ultimate price that have guaranteed my right to voice my opposition. To those, I am eternally grateful.

And to those serving overseas, who have left their wives, children, mothers, fathers, extended families and friends behind, let me just say thank you for your service and dedication to a cause that is far reaching beyond America. It is the cause for freedom. And you are fighting for it.

The Hope Road Trip

I have noticed, especially lately, the astounding amount of people who seem to be hurting and living without happiness or hope. I find that incredibly distressing and I was mulling this over in my mind while on a road trip last week.

Everyone has a different story of how they ended up at a particular point in their lives. Circumstances tend to dictate people's happiness, unhappiness, faith, hope, hopelessness and their outlook on life in general. I believe a lot of people are suffering in silence because maybe they don't know that there are others out there who truly care about them and their hurts. Or maybe, it's because we are so focused on our own problems in life that we tend to forget there are others worse off than us and we're not taking the time to show we care. I know I'm guilty of this. I wonder if taking an interest in the hurting and listening to their stories would allow a bit of hope to creep back into their lives.

As I was driving I thought about this and then came up with a totally crazy idea of what I would do to get their stories heard. It's called a road trip across America in my RV, with a video camera and the laptop (sounds like a different kind of reality show and seriously, these things just pop into my head).

Imagine the stories you'd hear sitting on a total strangers front porch or at a hole in the wall cafe in Small Town, USA. Or what about at an inner-city slum? Perhaps the people in the Great Plains have similar stories to those in the deep South. And while inner-city life dynamics may not be the same as small town dynamics when it comes right down to it people feel pain regardless of where they live and that is their common thread. Hopelessness has no prejudice and it doesn't care where one resides.

What if people realized there were others out there who had the same struggles and because they were able to tell their stories, found a network of people who could help them out. It might light a small spark of hope and get them through another day.

While I realize the whole concept of jumping in an RV and taking off across the country is a little out there, the idea of seeking out others who needs some hope isn't.

So, let's brainstorm. What can we do to spread a little happiness and spark some hope in others. Do you know someone who is in desperate need of those things or maybe you are that person. I encourage you to share your story because you're amongst friends here.