This Is What Happens...

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, there were a pair of flies that had decided to take up occupancy in my skylight and spent two days bugging the holy heck out of me with their incessant buzzing.

Apparently Jon, with his keen instincts picked up on my extreme annoyance with this twosome. He has dealt with said issue at hand and is now my hero.

I have not heard buzzing since I came upon this little memorial....

Get Me Out Of This House!

Ok, I am going crazy being cooped up in this house. I do not make a very good sick person and I am going to work tomorrow no matter what. Joining me in 'sick bay' is Jon, who is even worse off than I am. And, he coughed, like crazy-hack-cough-can't-catch-my-breath-cough...All. Night. Long. So neither of us got much sleep. So, not only am I cranky because I'm cooped up, but I'm bored out of my mind. I have watched movies, television, read all of my magazines at least three times (and it's a bummer because they are all cooking magazines, so even if I felt the slightest desire to whip up some epicurean delight I have no energy for it) and I made a pact with myself to 'KILL! KILL! KILL!' the two flies that are buzzing incessantly around the skylight in my bedroom. They have to come down eventually and I'll be waiting with the electric fly zapper...

Finally today, after watching the White House news conference on Foxnews (yes, I am a Foxnews junkie) and having the sudden urge to hurl my TV remote at the extremely arrogant and classless White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs (in hopes of it actually hitting him), I realized I am ready to get back to my normal everyday routine. And to think that I was just contemplating how mundane it was. Oy.

As mentioned, I have had plenty of time to catch up with the news. I thought I would share a story that ticked me off even more so than the whole AIG scamdal. So, Katdish, here's your 'Annie-rant'. And it's not even political.

"A mother is appealing for women to have sex with her adopted Down Syndrome son.

Lucy Baxter, of Abingdon, Oxfordshire in southern England, says she will even pay for a prostitute so he can lose his virginity. The mother has now set up a Web page for her son, Otto, appealing for potential dates to come forward.
Baxter has three other adopted sons with Down syndrome and works with Mencap, the U.K.'s leading charity for people with disabilities.

"I'd like all my boys to find love and enjoy sex," she said. "I always look at what other people are doing and why shouldn't they do the same things?

"I strongly believe, and have always said, that society has a learning disability when it comes to Down syndrome," she continued. "If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else. That's why I'm working overtime to get this sorted for him."

Ok, this woman is a disaster and a disgrace. There is absolutely nothing OK with paying a whore to have sex with your child and that is one of the most irresponsible things any parent could do. She wants her child to experience sex and is willing at all costs to exploit him and this fact. Of course she'll make sure that any woman up for the challenge of helping her son lose his virginity is thoroughly screened for any STD's and the HIV/AIDS virus. Isn't that what any responsible parent would do? Lady, you are ridiculous and I hope people flood your website and tell you just what a disgraceful thing you're doing. To have a fulfilling life one doesn't have to have sex bought for them - and if you really wanted to show your son love, you'd allow him to have relationships with people who love him for who he is. You are only proving to him 'just how much he isn't like everybody else' by doing this. And that, is very sad indeed.

And there you have it. This is what happens to Annie after six days of being cooped up. Get me out of the house already!

Boyz+Skateboard+Teddy Bear+Fun Hating Neighbor+Cops = Good Times

**I made reference to this in my last post and Steph has asked me to elaborate somewhat. I am happy to. It is these particular moments that I find extreme pleasure in parenting and realize I am just a kid at heart.**

I'm not sure who came up with the idea this particular day, but when I heard the giggling coming from outside, I looked out my office window to find my son and stepson with a very large teddy bear tied to a skateboard with a gazillion feet of fishing line. Now I have witnessed this game before. One night when we were sitting around the fire pit at some friends house all of our kids (7 of them) had decided it would be a good idea to tie a rope around a stuffed bunny rabbit and when a car came down the road someone would pull the rope while another chased after the rabbit. Even the policeman that drove by had to roll down the window and laugh at the kids just having a little bit of fun. (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I let my kids - all teenagers by the way, play in the street?)

Irresponsible parenting you say? Perhaps. And I won't be offended if you don't send me a 'Mother of the Year' plaque. But I am OK with kids being kids and having a little bit of fun as long as no one is out 'tagging' buildings, vandalizing schools or shooting out car windows with BB guns. So let the kids have a little bit of fun I say and it gives me a good laugh too. I'm selfish that way.

Anyway, on this particular day I had an inkling of what the boyz were up to and so I did what any responsible parent would do. Went back to my cleaning. It was a few minutes later that I heard the sound of a diesel truck idling and peeked back out the window to see the teddy bear doing a lo-crawl (or being pulled by fishing line) across the front yard. I recognized the neighbors truck from a few doors down and thought maybe there were some friendly point and laughs going on. Was I mistaken.

Perhaps you are lucky enough to live in a neighborhood amongst the carefree. I am not. Apparently, my neighbors whities are a little too tighty and Mr. & Mrs. Sunshine did not see the humor in two middle school boys antics that afternoon. So, I made my way downstairs and out the back door to where the boys were hidden behind the fence. I got the lo-down, told them not to tick anyone else off and went back inside. (I know, I just did what any responsible parent would do. Send the award already.)

So back upstairs to cleaning and a few minutes later the boys come bustin' up the stairs laughing and saying something about the bear being heisted. I look out the window and there's Little Miss Sunshine walking away with the bear. And miles of fishing line wrapped around it's neck.

I'm not sure who called Jon first, because my though was 'dang, I'm gonna have to go down there and get that bear back. I know, I'll let Jon do it.' Anyway, he was alerted to the situation and happened to be on his way home. Just as he's driving by the neighbors house, said neighbor steps out into the road, makes him stop and she says, 'Excuse me sunshine, would you pull into my driveway so I can talk to you.' (Said in her best Joan Crawford 'Mommy Dearest' voice). Apparently Jon DOES NOT like being called 'sunshine', told her no and drove home.

So, as the boyz are telling Jon the whole story and I'm trying to stay composed, I notice a Sheriffs car in front of the neighbors house. Wha...? Are you serious? Kids are shooed inside as a Deputy pulls up in front of our house. She opened the trunk, took out the bear (with fishing line still tightly wound around it's neck) and walked down our driveway. It was at this point that I realized the hilarity of the situation and started laughing uncontrollably. Now the Deputy was very professional and the only thing she said, while trying to keep a straight face was, "Well, what they did wasn't against the law. Maybe they could just keep the bear on this side of the road." (She did not laugh, or roll her eyes. I promise.)

I was still laughing uncontrollably when she walked away and for those of you who know me, you know I have a very loud, distinct laugh. It's possible that the neighbors, who were outside at the time heard me. Probably why they still don't wave when I drive by.

Luckily, the bear was not harmed and it now rests peacefully on a shelf in the closet. Until next time.

You're Off The Ranthook

I was going to do a quasi-rant today but bagged that idea because I just feel crummy. I think I'm coming down with whatever Jon had (no, thank you) and so y'all are off the ranthook for now. Instead, I thought I'd just entertain you with a little Q & A session - kind of a 'let's get to know more about Annie than we already do or can ever care to know' exercise. Besides, it seems these types of things are taking over the world like the Dems are taking over Washington and I just want to play along. Scary. But, I digress.

What if cows gave root beer instead of milk? What if they just gave beer? At least cattle prices would be up.

If I could give one piece of advice to any person in history, that advice would be... Ted, don't go near the booze, women or Chappaquiddick.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Yep. First time I saw Jon, I was standing next to my brother and I said to him 'I'm going to marry that man.' Seems like 20 years ago.

What would happen if you grew taller than trees? How would this change your life? None of my clothes would fit. That would stink. Well, maybe not because I like buying clothes. Do they make them in size XXXXXXXL Tall?

What would you do if a bully bothered you on your way home? I'd call Kenz. She's had experience in beating them up. Seriously. You don't want to mess with her.

What do you think your friends say to each other when you're not around? Dang it's quiet around here.

What do you think about people who are inconsiderate of others? They annoy the heck out of me and I sometimes secretly wish they'll get some flat tires on the way home. (OK, not really, but they do annoy me.)

What would you do to entertain your family without spending any money? Be myself. I am the entertainment.

What three words would describe you right now? I feel crappy.

How do you feel when it's your birthday? Why? Everyone celebrates my birthday - which is really cool because it's on Cinco de Mayo. Viva Mexico!

How would you change the world to make it better? Get rid of Obama. Get rid of Pelosi. Get rid of everyone who passed the spendulus bill.

When you are angry, how do you look? Pissed off.

Who is your favourite Star Wars character? Chewbacca. Seriously. How cool would it be to have a snuggie rug everywhere you go.

Where would you prefer to be right now--mountains, desert, beach--and why? Yes.

Does it bother you to be around someone who has bad manners? You have no idea. Close your mouth when you chew already.

What is a good neighbour? One who doesn't call the cops on your kids when they're having a little bit of fun with fishing line, a teddy bear and and a skateboard. In the street.

What is something you are optimistic about? That Mexico will still be there come vacation time.

What is the best birthday present you could receive? A 1961 Impala.

What would you do if you were in the middle of the lake and your boat began to leak? Hope like heck I see Jesus on the shore.

What does Canada mean to you? The country up north eh.

Ok, enough of that. I'm off to Nyquildom and bed.

I've Got Nothin' But This

Normally this time of year all I can think about is Mexico, Mexico, Mexico. I'm anticipating an off-season trip to some little out of the way town with very few people. That's how Jon and I prefer to travel. We don't do spring break - although my kids and I did Mexico at Christmas time a few years back but it was a little town with few people - and we don't do big resorts. Last May when Jon and I were in Tulum everything was fabulous until we had to get to the airport in Cancun which we thought we'd get to via downtown. Needless to say, I don't do mass quantities of Mexican drivers in a town roughly half the size of Texas and I was a little frazzled by the time we got to the airport. Not to mention it was my first day of the stomach flu (no, not caused by the food, but a real-life 100% authentic stomach flu which I had been infected with before we left for Mexico) and let me just ask if you've ever dealt with that on a plane at 40,000 feet. Luckily, we had the last two rows in the back of the plane, right next to the little bathroom. God provides.

I can't wait to go back to Mexico, but all I can think about lately is finding a nice little place in the woods away from it all to hang out. I'm like pre-hermit or something. I don't want to be around a bunch of people. I just want some movies, a few good books, possibly some trash mags for amusement (and because it makes me feel better knowing that my life isn't nearly as screwed up as I think and I know this because all I have to do is read the cover in the check out line of my local Safeway), some games to play with the kids, a bike to ride in case the weather quits being so flippin' cold and a blazing fire. I know, I'm a simple gal and I don't want much. Oh yeah, don't forget the dog. He'd be ticked if I left him home when there are so many trees where I'm going if you know what I mean. And squirrels. Boz loves the squirrels too.

I Was Relent(less)

I know some of you are wondering where I've been lately. And thank you to those who gave a friendly little shout out regarding such (Beth, Katdish). It's just been a couple of weeks and I haven't felt the blog mojo too much anyway. In fact, I just haven't felt any mojo lately and I guess I took a little unplanned break.

Also, for the past few days, I've been away at Wintercamp 09', Relent(less), cooking for about 350 (give or take a few) middle and high school kids. While some may consider that a thankless job, I found it an incredible blessing to be a part of such an awesome thing.

First, you have to understand where this camp took place. I was at Wildhorse Canyon Ranch, now known as Washington Family Ranch. It is a little piece of property (67,000 acres), out in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon, that was donated to Young Life Ministries. Prior to that, it had been inhabited by a 35,000 member cult lead by the The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. I'm not going to go into all of the specifics - I've created a link so that you can do that. I will say that I remember them as a kid coming to Bend and they were creepy people. There was a lot of weird stuff going on at their commune, and we always considered their ranch a very evil place. The ranch was eventually seized by the Feds, the cult members fled, a few were arrested and what was once a place full of darkness is now being used to further the kingdom of God. Touche.

There were a lot of really cool things about this weekend. I didn't get to interact much with the kids because I was in the kitchen most of the time, but I did get to attend a few of the worship session and watch kids do the zip line into the pond (seriously crazy because it was like 48°), ride the 'screamer', hang out at the 'Sassy' (yeah - THAT is the name of their little cafe. Love it.), and I was bunking in a room called 'Kicks Iron' (suh-weet). I had some really cools moments and I'm just going to briefly share them with you:

- Being completely humbled by my new friend Nick. He's a really cool kid that I got to spend a lot of time with and God is really big in his life.

- Witnessing 300+ teenagers during worship, jumping up and down with their arms raised, or on their knees singing praise to God. It chokes me up to talk about it. Seriously. I've never witnessed such awesomeness by a bunch of kids - especially when my teenage son is in the midst of it.

- Meg, Sarah, Jeff, Andrea & Tim. The kitchen crew. They work super long hours, for hardly any pay...and they love what they do. True servants. Plus they are really cool people.

- The herd of turkeys. (Ok, it's a flock, but there were a bunch of wild turkey's out there and I'm not talking about the kids.)

- Rocking AC/DC with Nick. (We rocked Cris Tomlin and Stevie Wonder too. Relax.)

- The food. I remember camp food as a kid and this is NOT camp food. I had garlic mashed red potatoes (with the skins and all. YUM..) and they were almost better than mine. Almost.

- Being continually amazed at what God has done with the ranch. I'm thinking Clint Eastwood and 'Go ahead, make my day punk' when the Rashneeses showed up. God blew the smoke off the end of that gun barrel.

- Enjoying seeing a gazillion teenagers having a blast, acting crazy and screaming their little hearts out on the zip line... and diggin' God. Good times.

I'm exhausted, but in a good way. I'm just glad I got to be a part of it all.

My Favorite Place (when not in Mexico)

Maybe it's because I grew up along the banks of the Deschutes (pronounced De Shoots) River, surrounded by forests, mountains, lakes and trails that I love being in the middle of it. The forest that is. I love to get away and go to this little cabin and just watch the river roll by. Jon and I had a fabulous weekend away and I thought I'd share some of the beauty of the Metolius River with you. Bozley had a fabulous time as well and we were definitely not ready to come back to the real world. But one day, I am sure, Jon is going to buy me a little cabin in the woods along the banks of a river...






















And.... dinner...which you can get the recipe here. (Just kidding...we didn't cook the goose. But you can get this fabulous chicken recipe that I whipped up Friday night by visiting my cooking blog.)