Facing The Rapids

Today was a much needed day off and like most late summer weekend days, I felt the river trail calling to me. So I loaded up the dog and set off for a hike that allowed me a few hours of quiet and solitude.

As I was walking along the river I could tell when I was nearing the rapids by the sound of rushing water. And while rapids are a beautifully dramatic sight when viewed from the safety of a river bank or from behind the lens of a camera, they are not so enjoyable when one is trying to navigate them in life.

We all have seasons in our lives when the waters are a little rough, much like rapids, and at times, probably feel as though we're being tossed around in the current, fighting to keep from being pulled under. As hard as these times are, I believe we need the rapids in our lives to stir up the silt that has settled into the nooks and crannies of our hearts.

The past few years I have experienced many moments of 'silt sifting' brought on by feelings of failure, guilt, disappointment, frustration and discouragement. The past few weeks are no exception and as difficult as it may be to face these things, it's a necessary process that we must go through in order to deal with whatever we've allowed to settle in our heart that has no business being there. I believe we will never go through rapids that are too big to handle and as uncomfortable, trying, difficult or scary as these times are, we are never left to navigate the rapids by ourselves.

Sometimes, that is hard even for me to remember, and in the moments when I begin to feel the water creeping over my head I sense the hand of God holding my chin above water as the rapids swirl around me. I know that when He said, "Don't be afraid; just believe," it was a promise that not everything is going to go my way and be easy but that He will be there to restore life to my soul. (Mark 5:36)

Sometimes it seems like life is one, long, dangerous Class V rapid with no end in sight. But, we have to remember that even though the rapids may be long, at the end of every rapids lies still waters.

The First Signs Of Fall

I love summer, but there is something about the days just before fall when the sun sits a little lower, the first leaves start to change, the air feels just a little crisper and the woods are a little more still. It is days like these, where the temperature is hovering around 80 that I love to be out hiking along the river.

Today was one of those days, so I grabbed Boz and my camera and headed out to the woods. I thought I'd share a few pictures from my hike.

The first sign of fall...



The meadow...



The trail...



Boz going down when we should be going up...



The beginning of the rapids...







The view from above...



The long road back...

National Polka Day? Nah...It's Helen's Birthday!

Today is Helen's birthday. If you don't know Helen, she's Hungarian, which makes us sisters, literally, because I'm Hungarian too. And she's Catholic. Which has nothing to do with her birthday, but it's a big part of who she is and how she sees the world.

And she loves Polka. Now I don't know a lot of 29 year olds that like Polka, but that's what makes Helen so cool. She likes Polka and Bob dresses in costumes to go to the movies. So she's married to the perfect man. She'll salsa in the grocery isle and make a mean goulash. And I bet she likes Weird Al cause she's into 80's music. And if you mess with her you will see just what they mean when they talk about making a Hungarian mad. But her heart is big and full of lots of love for her blog buds and she's an awesome daughter because she takes care of her mom. And Bob thinks she's the schizzle.

So, what's with all this randomness about Helen? Well, that's what Helen's blog is about. Random musings. And if you want to have one very happy (young) Hungarian today, I suggest you head on over and wish her a happy birthday.

And Helen, this polka, while a tad non-traditional is just for your birthday.

Happy Birthday girl!

Life Is Like A Potato Harvest

The best part of harvesting my garden is when I finally get to dig for potatoes. This year I planted three rows of Yukon Gold and Red potatoes. I don't remember exactly where in the rows I planted what, but to me, being surprised by what I dig up is all part of the fun.

To me, digging up potatoes is a lot like a treasure hunt. I carefully sink the shovel into the ground around the plant, loosen the dirt and then start running my hands through the dirt in search of the treasure. I love the feel of the earth in my fingers and the moment when they finally grasp the potato. There comes a point when I finally have to make myself stop digging because the bag is over flowing, so I reluctantly put the shovel aside.

This afternoon, as I was elbow deep in the potato trenches, I realized something about the actual potato plant:

1) The bigger, more beautiful plants did not necessarily mean the bigger the harvest. In fact these were the plants that had fewer potatoes.

2) The smaller, more 'sorry' looking plants yielded some of the biggest, nicest, most abundant amount of potatoes.

As I kept digging, I thought about what I could compare these interesting revelations to in life. But instead of me telling you what I think, I'd like to hear what your thoughts are and what comes to mind when you picture the potato harvest of two very opposite plants. The big beautiful plant that doesn't produce much versus the small, spindly plant that produces an abundance.

When The Mountain Calls You Out of the Valley

For the past few mornings I have gone down to one of my favorite trails along the river to walk the dog. While driving to the trail head, there is a point where I crest a large hill and I can see the Cascade Mountains looming majestically in front of me. While they looked close enough to reach out and touch, there are several miles of hills and valleys between me and the mountains. And as my gaze was drawn to the incredible early morning sight, I felt an intense longing to continue driving past the trail head and on into the mountains.

If you’ve ever been up to the high points of a mountain, you know that the view can be breathtaking. From atop the mountains here, for miles in either direction, one can see small towns, lakes, rivers, forest, winding roads, other mountains and even a dry, flat desert out to the east. The air is crisp and clear, the sun seems a little brighter and having the perspective of seeing clearly all around is itself a sense of comfort and peace.

It is definitely a much different point of view than that of being down in the valley.

In the valley the view is much more restrictive, or constrictive if you will and there are many more shadows to block the light.

I think life is a lot like mountains and valleys and from what I have observed both on and off the blogs there are a lot of people stuck in the valley or stranded on the side of the mountain, not quite able to reach the top.

I have walked through many valleys in my life and honestly, the valleys are not where I like to be. My valleys have been ones of fear, darkness, depression, financial struggles and loneliness. There have been times in the valleys where I have trudged along paths of uncertainty with no way out in sight. I have felt the incredible weight of life on my shoulders and the loneliness of being far removed from God. I have looked from the valley floor, up at the mountain that I must climb and cursed it for being so big. I have at moments, resigned myself to the fate of being in the darkness of the valley and been consumed by feelings of hopelessness.

I know many are in that very place and unsure of how to make their way out of the valley and up to the mountain top. I believe the first step is willing yourself to go. Sometimes the dark, as fearful and depressing as it is, is more comfortable than the unknown of the journey into the light. And while it was never promised that our journey through life would be painless or easy, God did promise that we can find rest from our burdens in Him. (Matthew 11:28-29)

I have also found, in my own experience that the moment I quit telling God how big my mountains are and instead tell the mountains how big my God is, the valleys don't seem so deep and dark. It's when I take the focus off of me and where I am (read: quit throwing myself a pity party) and decide to work on getting to where I need to be by putting one foot in front of the other I'm allowing God to be in control of the journey. This is extremely hard for a control-freak like me, but it seems my life is much messier when I take control and stick God in the back seat.

I believe God allows each of us to walk through the valleys so that we can learn to trust Him as we make our way up the mountain paths. And I don't know where you are in your journey of life, or what valleys you're in, or the trials you face but I do know that you are not alone. I have my own valley at this point in my life that I am trying to climb out of. Honestly, it is a valley that appears to have no end in sight, and I don't know the exact path I will be taking to get out of it, but I do know from my past experiences that I will put one foot in front of the other and allow the mountain to call me out of the valley.

***************************************************************************

If you are suffering or feeling alone in whatever struggle you are facing, please know that there are many who are willing to listen to you and help you through whatever it is you are facing. Feel free to email me even if you just need someone to listen.

Happy Birthday Sherri!

Today is Sherri's birthday. Who is Sherri? Well, she is this incredibly fabulous, crazy, 'dynamite comes in small packages', big hearted type of gal who has a rather eclectic little blog called Matter of Fact. I strongly encourage you to go over there and wish her 'Happy Birthday!'. And take her a nice pair of stilettos while you're at it cause she loves her some stilettos.

And Sherri, for your birthday enjoyment, some incredibly fabulous shoes.



(Because you like to chat as much as you like stilettos...so here's something that allows you to enjoy both hobbies! You're welcome.)




Who says 'Gold' boots aren't in?




Oh, whoops. Wrong Stiletto...



Happy Birthday Sherri! I hope Big Al treats you right!

The Fear of Following Your Heart

I have noticed lately that people are living in great fear. I hate that. Fear is what keeps us from being who we truly should be and need to be. Fear stops us cold in our tracks. Fear tells us we're not strong enough, good enough, pretty enough, popular enough, rich enough. Fear takes all of our dreams, hopes and joy and squashes it. Fear keeps us inside a little box instead of living outside the box.

Fear keeps us from hearing our hearts.

Recently, here's what I see to be some of the greatest fears people experience:

Fear of failure.
Fear of losing a house.
Fear of losing a job.
Fear of not finding a job.
Fear of not having enough money to pay the bills.
Fear of loss.
Fear of letting go.
Fear of following ones heart.
Fear of being inadequate.
Fear of not knowing.
Fear of the future.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of others condemnation.
Fear of where the government is leading our country.
Fear of new things.
Fear of risks.
Fear of being weak.
Fear of illness.
Fear of trusting others.
Fear of themselves.
Fear of trusting God.

For most of my life I've been pretty fearless. Until recently. Recently I've wanted to live safely inside my little world, as imperfect as it may be. But then that little box that I stuffed my whole world into was given a good shake when this idea came to me one afternoon. An idea that I began calling The Hope Road Trip.

Through some pretty crazy circumstances it's starting to turn into something that I didn't expect. And honestly, I've got some real excitement about where I'd like to take this thing and where I want it to lead, but I've also dealt with the fear that I'll give up on it because I won't have enough trust to let God take me where He needs me to go. And then there's the fear of going this alone.

There are moments when the idea of taking a road trip across America to seek out those in need in order to tell their story seems like a crazy little pipe dream. Logistically speaking that is. But I want to see this through. Why? Because I think people need to know and hear this:

1 Peter 5:10, And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

And that is why I am going to work at overcoming the fear that creeps in and tells me I'm not good enough, strong enough, adequate enough, connected to the right people...

So what is your fear keeping you from? Do you feel there is something you need to do but you're allowing fear to keep you from following your heart?

********************************************************************************
You can read more about The Hope Road Trip at these links:

The Hope Road Trip

A Man In Search of Hope, Part 1

A Man In Search of Hope, Part 2

A Girl Rejected

A Young Mother, Her Baby and a Family in Need of Help