Monday, September 15, 2008

Random Stuff I Didn't Post

The other day I emailed my husband about going back to school winter term and about some other random stuff, like blogging. He made a comment about my blog and I told him that I thought it would be easier to blog anonymously because so often I start writing something and then have to stop myself because of the whole 'who's reading my blog and can I be so bold as to reveal my true self' thing. Maybe it's my paranoia, but I figure .00001% of the US population could be reading this and possibly someone in Bend (those statistics are probably generous)and they are going to have an 'Ah-Hah' moment and realize it's me doing the writing. And I don't want them to give me funny looks next time they see me because I am insecure that way. Not that I haven't been so bold as to splash my families pictures across the pages, but I do write very guarded and you never know who is going to use the information against you, like maybe my ex-husband's wife? Ok, I digress.

Because I am too busy and starting a second 'anonymous' blog would be too much on my plate at this moment in my life (fun, but it would push me over the edge) I've decided to go ahead share a few of the things I started writing about but never published. It's not earth shattering-will-change-your-life stuff, just things I didn't finish.

I coach high school volleyball and I love my girls but sometimes I'm mean.
My life revolves around two seasons; volleyball season and the off season. When volleyball season starts in August I kiss my husband goodbye and tell him 'see you in November'. I work job #1 from rediculously early in the morning until volleyball practice or on game days until game time and then it's anybody's guess when I'll get home. By week four I'm exhausted from working 6 days/week and can tend to be somewhat of a 'B' word when I let my guard down. It's a big sacrifice for my family and my husband does an awesome job of helping me out around the house and being suspiciously absent when my patience at everything has reached it's limits. But the reason I coach is not just because I love the game and the exhorbent amount of money I make doing so (I jest), but because I have a heart for the girls and have met some pretty cool kids. I love watching the light come on when the girls realize their full potential and the success they experience by playing their hearts out. I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to be a positive influence in these girls lives and I value the relationships that develop from all of the time I spend them.

But, sometimes I have to get mean. I am big on discipline and it usually involves running. There is discipline for not calling the ball, not going for the ball, talking when I am, disrespect of others, leaving the bus we're traveling in a mess, forgetting any part of their uniform, and being late to practice. Let's just say my team is well-conditioned and they are better for it. I love my girls and I'm sure they love me.

My daughter doesn't have a relationship with her dad.
This is a tough one for me because my daughter is her dad's first-born and I have vivid memories of when she was a baby and how she would fall asleep on his chest. He spent all of his free time with her reading, coloring, watching Disney movies, camping, hunting and teaching her to fish. She was always daddy's little girl until...

I could write a lot about this but have decided not to. I will say that my daughter has reached out to her dad many times, but the relationship is what it is because of her dad's decisions. I hope one day they decide to extend a huge amount of grace and forgiveness towards each other, let the walls come down and just love each other for who they are.

My son wants to be a youth pastor.
My older brother, the one with a dozen-or-so kids, is going to start a Calvary Chapel church back in Virginia. His oldest son is graduating from bible college in December and the plan is for him to be the head pastor. My son has told me several times that he feels like he is being prepared for a life of ministry and I think that is a very cool thing. He would like to go be the youth pastor at this church my brother is starting, but there is one small thing standing in his way. He's in 7th grade and has five years until he graduates. I know a lot can change in five years, but if that is the plan that God has for his life then that desire will only grow in my son over the next few years. I think it's pretty awesome as a parent when we see our children have a heart for God and others. I'm definitely OK with that.

That is a condensed version of some things I started writing but never finished. There are a lot more (like why do grown women think it's OK to wear their pajama bottoms out in public. This is NOT a fashion statement, it's fashion faux pas) but I will save those for another post.

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