Friday, May 1, 2009

Things I Observed This Week

I'm glad it's Friday and here's what I observed (or possibly learned) this week:

1. I am incredibly ready for summer and officially sick of snow.

2. When I come back from Mexico I should tell everyone about the pigs I came in contact with and cough a lot just to see what kind of panic it causes. (No, I'm not going to Mexico, but if I were...)

3. Joe Biden should not be allowed to speak in public. EVER. In fact, they should probably fly him to an uninhabited island and leave him there for 4 years.

4. When I receive emails from condescending, arrogant sales people I want to throw Dale Carnegie under the bus and Annie rant them. (I'll probably see that on my next review.)

5. I'm sure the clerks who stock shelves at Safeway continuously move the Velveeta around to different places just to mess with me.

6. When I'm driving I say, 'what the heck?', a lot.

7. Cream of Tartar comes from the wine making dregs. Who knew?

8. I contemplate my purpose in life way too much.

9. I am apparently missing out on another dimension of life because I'm a twitter-slacker.

10. Pete Shut-Up is getting old. (Who is Pete Shut-up?)

11. I've been holding at 17 followers forever. Apparently I'm not reaching the masses.

12. A bottle of wine goes too fast around 3 women. Where's the 'water into wine' miracle when you need it?

13. If you buy the package that says 'pocketless pita bread' they probably mean it. Do not be disappointed when you slice the bread and find no pockets.

14. If the old bread is still in the bird feeder after a week, there's a good chance the birds prefer that I stick to bird seed.

15. That I need to practice my aim with the pellet gun. (Oh, yeah, watch out dirty dogs.)

I hope you all have a fabulous Friday. I am going to go make some homemade mac n' cheese and anticipate the weekend. Maybe I'll do some target practice....

9 comments:

Billy Coffey said...

About number:

1: So with you. If I saw snow now, I'd lie down in it and wait for hypothermia to put me out of my misery.

2: Let me know how that goes.

3: I agree. But he has nice teeth, doesn't he?

8: Is there such a thing as "too much"?

11: Helped you out there. Sorry I hadn't done that before, but I actually thought I did.

Annie K said...

@Billy, Re: #11 - I just gave you the 'peace out brothah' fist to chest pump.

sherri said...

This was hilarious. You do this really well!

Michelle said...

#13 made me giggle!

Thank you for making me giggle!!

Your comment on my blog made me giggle too!!

Thanks for making me giggle twice!!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

You ARE reaching the masses because katdish has been smack talking you on Twitter. You'd better get there and defend yourself!

#3 - You'd think with those nice teeth he wouldn't want to keep putting his foot in his mouth, wouldn't you?

#14 - Is that the pocketless pita bread? Birds prefer pockets. I'm just sayin'...

Annie K said...

Sherri, I do what really well? Observe or be hilarious.

Michelle, you said giggle 4 times. I gotcha more than twice. Mission accomplished. ;)

Candy, I'll deal with Katdish. And yeah...I had a total blonde moment why buying my pita bread. (almost makes me want to yell 'who's you're daddy' in a really random sort of way.)

katdish said...

Okay,

I don't care who ya are...

that's funny right there.

Helen said...

#5 To prevent this, start salsa dancing in the aisles. They never mess with the crazy people.

Things I observed this week: Billy Coffey follows your blog and not mine!

Annie K said...

Helen, only because I sniveled and whined...